


The Headache

by persephoneapple



Series: A Series of Nonsensical Events [34]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 07:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18566521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persephoneapple/pseuds/persephoneapple
Summary: “Draco is going to kill me,” Harry mutters. “He’s just left for St Mungo’s to have his head examined.”





	The Headache

**Author's Note:**

> **The Headache**  
>  Harry/Draco, Teddy, Andromeda [G, 1787 words]  
>  **Disclaimer:** JK Rowling and co own everything. I’m writing for fun and not for profit.  
>  **A/N:** slight crack!fic. Based on a conversation with my co-worker about witches and wizards dealing with Muggle ailments.

“Shit,” Harry says, not quite believing what Andromeda is saying to him.

“Uncle Harry!” Teddy exclaims, pointing a finger in Harry’s face, “you said a very bad word.” Teddy is sitting in Harry’s lap, munching on an apple as he watches the telly.

 _And with good reason_ , Harry thinks. Out loud he says, “Sorry, Teddy. I was surprised at what your grandmother just told me.” He combs his fingers through his godson’s turquoise hair to see signs of what Andromeda just told him, but Teddy’s scalp is healthy and there are no signs of irritation.

Still, Teddy had recently contacted lice from the Muggle primary school he attended and there was a large possibility that he had passed it on to both Draco and Harry.

This is the reason Draco had been complaining about his headache for the past few days -- one that came with an itchy side-effect. It’s not, as they had previously thought, the result of a new shampoo from Paris, the one Harry had bought for Draco after one of his Auror missions.

That morning, Draco had had enough and had gone to St Mungo’s for a check-up when he couldn’t stand the constant irritation. He had tried new shampoos and different potions to stop the pain, but with no success. Harry truly believes that Draco is afraid that his hair is going to fall out. 

“Draco is going to kill me,” Harry mutters. “He’s just left for St Mungo’s to have his head examined.”

“Now, Harry, I wouldn’t be that dramatic,” Andromeda says, while trying not to smile. “My nephew knows that these things happen. It’s one of the joys of raising children.”

“Well, I don’t think that Draco will see it that way.”

“Are you angry with me, Uncle Harry?” Teddy interrupts.

“No,” Harry replies, looking down at Teddy’s worried face. He hair has turned brown and he has his hands deep in his pockets. “I’m not angry. How can I be angry at something that is not your fault?”

Teddy shrugs. “Is Cousin Draco angry? I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. Why would Draco be angry?”

“I don’t think he likes me,” Teddy whispers.

Harry feels his heart breaking. “What makes you say that?”

‘He doesn’t play with me like you do. He just stares at me most of the time, or lets me watch the telly.”

Harry doesn’t know what to say to this, but luckily Andromeda is a quick thinker.

“Teddy, dear, Draco is an only child and he hasn’t been around children that much. Give him a little more time and you’ll see that he likes you just as much as Harry does.”

Teddy doesn’t look convinced, but he allows his grandmother to help him with his jacket and shoes. Harry follows them to the front door and then kneels down so that he is eye level with Teddy. “Bye, Teddy. I’ll see you next weekend, okay?”

Teddy nods and hugs him. “I hope Cousin Draco gets better.”

“Harry, before I forget,” Andromeda says as she digs into her purse and hands him a box. “Here. This is what the nurses at Teddy’s school recommended. It helps kills the lice. Draco should be fine after using this a few times.”

Harry thanks her and closes the door behind them, levitating the box into the kitchen. Now faced with an empty flat, all Harry can think about are Teddy’s words and how he could bring this up to Draco without it becoming an argument. 

When he hears the crack of Apparition, Harry runs up the stairs and into their bedroom, trying to catch his breath as he leans against the door frame, rubbing a stitch in his side. The air smells of strong disinfectant, the bed is stripped bare, the curtains are taken down, and there is a house elf trying to catch all of the clothes that are being thrown out of the closet. 

“Draco?” Harry asks and after a few curse words are said, Draco steps out of the closet. He addresses the house elf first, not bothering to look in Harry’s direction.

“Lassie, I want you to incinerate everything. And then Vanish the ashes. I don’t want any trace of them.” Draco points to the larger pile scattered on the floor where bed sheets and duvets are tangled together. Lassie quickly picks them up and Disapparates.

The smaller pile that remains is just clothes. A splash of red stands out from the pile, looking very familiar and upon closer inspection, Harry sees that it’s his threadbare t-shirts, his jeans with holes in the knees, and a pair of trainers with the sole starting to rip apart.

“What are you doing?” Harry cries out, already pulling out the several Weasley jumpers that he loves. “You can’t throw those away. Those are my clothes. What am I going to wear?”

“What does it look like, Potter? Lice! I have _lice_. I have to purge everything!”

“Purge? Surely this is a bit too much? It sounds to me like you just found an excuse to get rid of my clothes.”

Draco sighs. “You may keep the sentimental items, Potter, but everything else goes. Your clothes are too frayed and if you must wear jeans and t-shirts, then you will buy new ones.”

Harry sits down on the bed and begins sorting the clothes. “So you have lice. It’s not the end of the world.”

Draco rolls his eyes. “It’s amazing the Muggles haven’t killed each other already. How can they stand the itching? I had to have a numbing charm placed on my head just to keep myself from going insane.”

“Because Muggles have been dealing with it since the beginning of time. It’s practically a rite of passage. Didn’t the healers at St Mungo’s treat you? I’m sure their treatment is much more effective than the Muggle way.”

Draco reaches into his pocket and pulls out a vial filled with a pale orange liquid. “The cure is to drink three doses for the next twenty-four hours. It kills everything.”

Harry tries, and fails, to suppress a smile. “Then one dose should do the trick. Draco, you’re practically hairless.” Harry stops his teasing when he finally notices Draco frowning at him.

“I’m glad you think this is funny, Potter, but I’ll have you know that I can’t take this potion.”

“Why not?”

“I’m allergic to an ingredient. The spider eyes will make me break out in hives.”

“Oh,” Harry says, scooting back on the bed until he’s against the headboard and motions for Draco to join him. Draco settles down with his head in Harry’s lap and closes his eyes. 

“You’re either very brave or very foolish, Potter, for letting me be near you.”

Harry doesn’t respond; instead he trails his fingers through the blond strands, much like he did with Teddy earlier that morning. Poor Draco. Now that he’s close enough to see, there are red bumps and scratches everywhere on his scalp. Draco winces a bit and Harry stops combing the hair.

Harry taps his wand on the crown of Draco’s head. “You don’t seem to have that many. We could try to Summon the lice out,” Harry says, but stops at the look of horror on Draco’s face.

“And where do you think they would go? Straight towards the person casting the spell.”

Harry doesn’t dare mention that he’s already felt the beginnings of an itchy scalp. “Right, that’s not a good idea. Well, we could always try to freeze them and see if they fall off. And then immediately _Incendio_ them to get rid of the lice.”

“Very funny, Potter. You’re more than likely to burn the flat down.” 

“Probably, but at least they will be gone.”

“How did you get rid of them?” Draco asks, crossing his arms against his chest. “Surely you’ve had them once or twice when you were a child?”

Harry sighs. “My Aunt Petunia would never admit to anyone that her precious Ickle Dudleykins had lice. In fact, the one time my cousin had lice, she took him to the doctor’s to get a professional treatment and then threatened to sue if the neighbours ever found out. As for me, Aunt Petunia would just cut off all of my hair. It was the simplest solution, plus it had the added benefit of making my head look ridiculous.”

Draco reaches up and touches his hair, swatting Harry’s hands away. “Don’t you dare, Potter.”

Harry shakes his head. “Of course not. I’m too fond of it.” He is. Draco’s hair is smooth and silky, and sometimes Draco lets it grow out long enough that Harry can wrap it around his hands and pull on it during sex. It would be a tragedy for the two of them if they had to cut it off.

“Andromeda left us a box that the primary school used on the Muggle children. I’m sure that it should work for you.” Harry Summons the box he left on the kitchen counter and hands it to Draco, who scans it quickly before scowling.

“Potter, this is for Muggles. I’m not using it. It will make my hair fall out”

“It will still work for you. Andromeda said it worked for Teddy just fine.”

Draco still looks unconvinced.

“You know, for what it’s worth, Teddy says he’s sorry about giving you lice.”

Draco frowns. “What for? This isn’t his fault.”

“Yeah, but he feels guilty.”

“ _Guilty_?”

Harry nods. “Yeah, Teddy has this weird idea that you don’t like him. I told him it wasn’t true.”

“What?” Draco exclaims hoarsely, clearing his throat. “You know I don’t hate Teddy. I just feel so out of my comfort zone with him and sometimes I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to fuck this up because he means the world to you.”

“You also mean the world to me. What Teddy needs is his family. Just be yourself.”

“What? A cranky, self-centered person who is stubborn and acerbic and complains too much?”

Harry smooths out a wrinkle on Draco’s forehead (not that he would mention anything like that to Draco’s face) and kisses him. He feels Draco relax underneath him before eagerly kissing him back. When they break apart, both are gasping for breath and it fogs Harry’s glasses a bit.

“No, just be the person you are when you’re with me. Play with him and ask him a lot of questions, but most of all, love him for who he is and not for the person you expect him to be. Maybe then he won’t curse you with lice.”

When Draco starts laughing, Harry thinks it is the sweetest sound in the world.


End file.
